


There's nothing to be afraid of

by Ineedadrinkorsleep



Category: The Dark Artifices Series - Cassandra Clare, The Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: LGBTQ Character, LGBTQ Character of Color, Love Confessions, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-16
Updated: 2019-02-16
Packaged: 2019-10-29 13:01:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,459
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17808431
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ineedadrinkorsleep/pseuds/Ineedadrinkorsleep
Summary: Kit decides to ask the high warlock of Brooklyn for advice.Idk I'm trash for queer characters helping other queer characters so this happened.Set after Los but before QOAAD.





	There's nothing to be afraid of

If you had told Kit Herondale a year ago that not only would he one day be training as a shadowhunter at the Los Angeles institute, but he would also be knocking on the door of Magnus Bane's loft to ask for his advice, he probably would have laughed in your face. 

 However many things had changed in the months following his father's death and Kit  had gone from despising all shadowhunters to learning he was one and had become extremely close with the Blackthorn family. 

 Especially Ty. 

 Tiberius Blackthorn was unlike any other person Kit had ever met. He was extraordinary in every sense of the word. With a beautiful mind and a beautiful soul, Ty had rapidly worked his way into Kit's heart. What started as a minor infatuation had blossomed into powerful adoration. He was completely in love with Ty and it was scaring the crap out of him. 

Now it wasn't like Kit was afraid of his sexuality. He had known that he liked multiple genders for awhile now. He had just never expected to fall in love and have it swallow him whole. Hence the reason why Kit had shown up randomly at the high warlock's residence at an ungodly hour of the night, because Magnus was the only person Kit could think of who could help him deal with what he was feeling. 

 Sure he could have talked to either Mark or Helen Blackthorn seeing as they were both quite well versed in falling in love with a member of the same sex, but Kit really didn't want to disclose this kind of information to Ty's siblings. As for Aline, she would most likely tell Helen and then it would be the same problem all over again and Alec Lightwood lived with Magnus, being his partner, so either way Kit was making a trip down to their Brooklyn loft. But more to the point, Magnus had centuries of experience and was probably more well equipped to give advice. 

Kit took a deep breath and cleared his thoughts. If Magnus was going to be able to help him at all, he wouldn't know until he actually asked. He raised his fist to the sleek slab of oak separating the home of Brooklyn's favourite power couple from the world and knocked firmly three times. 

At first there was silence, then a slight rustling  mixed with an exasperated and exhausted groan. Kit felt his stomach twist with guilt. What the hell was he even doing here? He really had no legitamite reason other then his tale of unrequited love. At least he was pretty sure it was unrequited. Why would Ty ever want some one like him? 

Footsteps began to relectently make their way towards the door. The handle turned and then the door was flung open and Magnus Bane was standing in front of Kit, tired cat eyes gleaming, hair standing up at odd angles and looking thoroughly unimpressed. 

"May I ask what on earth you're doing at my door at 2 in the morning little nephilim?" Magnus demanded. He managed to sound royally pissed off while still keeping his voice just above a whisper. Kit froze for a moment, all of his reasons now seemed quite petty and foolish. He could have at least waited until morning. Well later in the morning at least.  

 His head had just been swimming with fears and this powerful feeling of weakness had been haunting him. He hated the way Ty had so much power over him. He didn't understand it and there was a part of him that wanted it gone. He didn't want to be weak, he didn't want someone to have complete control over him. Especially now.

 Magnus cleared his throat expectantly and Kit was jolted back to the present. "I'm really sorry Magnus" kit muttered sheepishly. "I just really needed to talk to you. But I should have waited". Magnus raised his eyebrows looking only slightly less unimpressed. "Well you're here now aren't you? Speaking of which, how the hell did you get to New York at this hour without anyone noticing you were gone?" Magnus asked. 

 Kit took another deep breath, fully prepared to be judged. "I asked Tessa to portal me here" he replied wincing internally. " I told her it was an emergency that only you could help with."  Magnus' eyes searched him up and down clearly looking for some sort of injury. Finding none, Magnus' eyes narrowed. "Well is it an emergency?" he asked, clearly growing rather suspicious of Kit. Kit was fully prepared to stammer out another apology and declare it all a huge mistake. However the frightening ache in his heart was only growing. Even if Magnus couldn't help him with it, or he had nothing helpful to add, Kit just needed to tell someone. He could only pray that somehow Magnus would understand. 

 "I'm sorry I know it's late, I know I should have planned this better but I just really needed to talk to you." Kit rambled avoiding Magnus' eyes. "I just... He paused for awhile trying to find the words. "I just really needed help." Magnus eyed him softly but with some suspicion. "And you decided to portal hop all the way to New York for help?" Magnus asked with bewilderment. Kit opened his mouth to explain himself, but Magnus was already stepping back and opening the door wider. "Well come on then" Magnus gestured into the apartment with a dramatic flourish. "If you're choosing to go full Herondale then you better step inside". 

Kit followed Magnus cautiously into the loft. "Try to keep your voice down. Alexander and the kids are sleeping" Magnus whispered. Kit nodded, surveying his surroundings. Magnus and Alec's loft was beautifully unique, showing off Magnus' style while still displaying many items that were very clearly Alec's.  Magnus made his way over to the drinks table and began fixing himself a cocktail. "So what can I do for you Kit?" he asked. 

 Kit was silent for a moment. Again he was faced with the reality of how pathetic he was being. Magnus wasn't going to be happy. Unfortunately Kit couldn't help it, he felt like he was drowning in Ty and that wasn't what the Blackthorns needed from him right now. It certainly wasn't what the people who required his protection needed either. 

" Listen I'm really sorry to bother you at this hour" Kit began, " I probably shouldn't be here but.."  Magnus cut him off. "Look you're obviously having some sort of adolescent melt down so I'll forgive the late hour. Let's just try not to make a habit of it alright?" Kit nodded gratefully. "Alright now what seems to be the problem?" 

 

Kit took a breath and then began to confess. " I just feel so off balance. So helpless and scared. I have all of these feelings and it's like they're threatening to consume me. It's just this constant blinding ache and I can't make it go away. And I feel so selfish because the Blackthorns are dealing with real problems right now. They just lost their sister!" Kit exclaimed in a hurry.  

Magnus took a long gulp of his drink and observed Kit with watchful eyes. "Your problems are valid now matter how small or insignificant they seem. Now how about you take a deep breath and tell me what the actual problem is." Kit sunk down onto one of Magnus' sofas, his exhaustion, both mental and physical was starting to catch up with him.   

"I'm in love with Ty". He breathed just above a whisper. "I love him so much and it's killing me." Kit was almost afraid to met Magnus' eyes again. That was the first time he had ever said it out loud and it felt equally liberating and terrifying. Kit rose his gaze from the carpet back up to Magnus again, fully prepared to be yelled at for how ridiculous he was being.

But Magnus was silent. 

Kit was panicking. Not just worrying or even silently stressing. Full blown panicking. His finger nails were digging into the palms of his hands and his stomach was in knots. Kit was fully prepared to just stand up and leave when Magnus suddenly broke into a grin. 

"Well Tessa owes me $50" he said with a smile, turning around to pour himself a refill on his cocktail. "But more to the point, why did you want to talk to me about this? You have no shortage of love sick idiots back in LA. Why did you need my opinion?" Magnus asked, furrowing his brow in confusion. This was a valid question and Kit had a feeling Magnus would ask it. However. " I just didn't feel comfortable talking about this with Ty's siblings or any of the other people in the institute" Kit explained.  "And even if I was, people like Julian and Emma or even Tessa still wouldn't understand what it's like to be called horrible names when you walk down the street holding hands with your partner or what it's like to have your life threatened every time you participate in an event like a pride parade or to literally be illegal in certain countries. Not just to have your love be illegal but for your existence to actually be illegal because if they find out you're gay or bi or pan or whatever, you'll be killed. As much as I wish I could pretend that the love I feel for Ty is the same as the love Julian feels for Emma or the love Tessa feels for Jem, I just can't because we don't face the same challenges, so it's not the same." Kit declared with passion. "Please tell me you understand what I mean Magnus." 

Kit was staring into Magnus' eyes hoping that he could will him to make sense of why Kit had portalled all the way to New York and why he wasn't talking to Jace even though he was Kit's  relative. Magnus was silent again, clearly waiting for Kit to continue talking, but he nodded his head and took another sip from his cocktail. 

"Anyways you've been in love with guys before and obviously you are now so I just figured that  you would be the best person to help me out. I just need your advice." Kit explained trying his best to sound like he wasn't demanding anything. 

Now Magnus was starting to glare. "You need my advice?" He repeated exasperatedly. "As in you have no idea what you're supposed to do next?"  Now Kit was really confused. He thought he had made that pretty clear already. "No Magnus I really don't" Kit replied doing his best to keep the desperation out of his voice.

Magnus sighed dramatically and poured himself what must have been his third cocktail an drank it all in one gulp. Kit would have been concerned if it wasn't Magnus. "Well the obvious thing to do would be to tell him how you feel and go from there" said Magnus moving his empty cocktail glass around while gesturing with his hands to accentuate every word. Kit was not impressed. Seriously. He took a fricķin portal to New York just to hear the words "tell him how you feel."  Of course he couldn't actually tell Magnus any of this without running the risk of being turned into a slug or something equally as unpleasant. 

What Kit did say was "I can't tell him Magnus. His twin sister just died. Not to mention if he knew the truth it would ruin our friendship." Magnus threw his hands up in the air and muttered something about idiot Herondales in love under his breath. "Why are you so certain it will ruin things if you're honest about how you feel? I mean how do you expect this to go anywhere if you don't tell him?" Magnus asked curiously. 

Kit cringed inwardly. Clearly Magnus didn't get it. Not that he really blamed him, seeing as Magnus was pretty spectacular so it would be hard to turn down an offer like that from him. However, Kit on the other hand was a different story. Kit went back to staring at the carpet. " I don't expect it to go anywhere. That's the whole point." Kit mumbled. "Why would someone as beautiful and brilliant as Ty ever want someone like me? It's just not happening."  Magnus sofened his gaze and tilted his head slightly. "Really? You seriously believe that?  Why? Why wouldn't Ty be interested in you?" Magnus approached Kit slowly urging him to look up. " I've never seen anyone with such passion, such devotion." Magnus spoke precisely, urging Kit to hear him. "You are so obviously enamoured with this boy, willing to do anything or risk anything for him. Knowing all that how could he not at least give you a chance?" 

Kit took a moment to process this. Considering the fact that shadowhunters weren't exactly big believers in points for effort and enthusiasm, Kit hadn't thought Ty or anyone would be effected by the strength of his feelings. However clearly Magnus was another story. Kit knew Herondales were famous and occasionly made fun of for their dramatics, usually involving romance. He didn't want to do anything that might scare Ty or make him uncomfortable. However the more he thought about it, maybe Magnus was right, maybe complete honesty was the best course of action. Magnus had taken a set next to him, empty cocktail glass abandoned on the coffee table, his head was resting against one of the decoretive throw pillows and he looked as though he was about drift asleep. 

Kit was about to mention to Magnus that he was leaving and thank him for his help when Magnus suddenly let out a loud snore, indicating that he was fast asleep. Kit felt himself smile at the sight. The high worlock of Brooklyn looked so peaceful and non threatening. Kit carefully rose off the couch and grabbed a nearby notepad and pen and scribbled out a quick note. 

Hey Magnus.

You dozed off so I decided it was time to get home before Julian realizes I'm gone. Thank you for the advice. It means a lot.

Kit.

Setting the note down on the coffee table, Kit cast one final glance at Magnus and then started towards the door.  Who knew if Magnus' advice would pay off? Ty could listen to Kit profess his love for him and decide he never wanted to see him again. He could laugh in his face or worse, kick him out of the institute. Telling Ty the truth could ruin everything. Or it could be the beginning of something beautiful. Either way, Kit wouldn't know until he tried.


End file.
